


Couples Therapy For Single People

by Nocturnal_Daydreams



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Dare, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hilarity Ensues, Jester Lavorre Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Caleb Widogast, Therapy, half crack half lovely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:53:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29546124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturnal_Daydreams/pseuds/Nocturnal_Daydreams
Summary: When MN can no longer deny Caleb has issues, the only appointment is a couples therapist - Veth can't help but emotionally guilt others into joining her noble quest and Jester gets roped in to helping by being Caleb's fake partner. Jester can't be Jester without making things fun though so there is a wager in motion - just how long will it take for this therapist to realise these two are not together?
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 11
Kudos: 62





	1. The things we do for family

“You’re sure about this?” Jester asked.

“Of course I am!” Veth replied with complete confidence, “There is a really good therapist in town but they only do couples. He trusts you.”

“But people do singular therapy all the time, Veth.”

“None as good as this guy. Plus, a lot of them have been heavily booked. Please?”

Jester sighed, she was still going to keep fighting even if she knew she would lose this. She wasn’t about to not put up a fight, “But why me?”

“Well, you’re the most happy, you support him and the least issues so it will force the therapist to focus on him.” Veth answered simply. Jester nearly choked on her milk. She took a few deep breaths and cleared her throat. Cad came up and patted her on the back.

“What’s up?”

“I was just saying, if Jester took Caleb’s to couples therapy it’d force the focus onto Caleb since he’s the one with the issues. She’d only need to pretend until the therapist agrees to take him alone.” Veth continued, sure of her brilliant ideas. Cad gave Jester the side eye at issues but held back his smile. He nodded once Veth finished, agreeing with the idea.

Jester thought for a few moments. Caleb did need to talk to someone and maybe he would take the logic to blame himself less from a third party and professional. The worry that a therapist may see through her worries or their not actually being a couple became rather insignificant. Plus if she went once it may be all that was needed and there’d be no need to go a few times. 

“Okay.” She chimed and skipped away to sit down. 

Around 10 minutes later Caleb came in from his room to have some breakfast.

“Jester agreed to join you!” Veth proclaimed.

“Oh! Oh. Okay, thank you Jester.” He stuttered and grabbed breakfast.

“You start today, 4pm.” She informed them both with a proud grin.

“Oh, thank you Veth.” Caleb and Jester mumbled, both feeling a little put out.

They all went out to go take in Nichodranas for the day. It was an idea proposed by Luc because he wanted all his aunts and uncles to take him out. Insisted mum and dad got mum and dad time. He revealed to them later it’s because he wanted to get them to get in contact with the stork. He wanted specifically a baby brother. The subject was averted after they told him it was like when he played hook-a-duck at the fair. He surmised then that it would be possibly okay for him to have a baby sister as well. Then he got distracted by some bright green velvet gloves in the window. Fjord insisted on buying them for him before anyone else. 

It did turn into a who could be the best relative, Jester and Caleb unfortunately set up to lose, feeling distracted by the upcoming appointment and the early leave. Luc forgave them for their horrendous sin of leaving and Beau, who was winning, stuck her tongue out as they parted ways. Jester mirrored such behaviour and huffed.

There was a moment of silence.

“Dammit, Jester.” He sounded mad only to break it with laughter, “I wasn’t expecting you to sell me out.”

“What?”

“Veth was willing to die on the hill and I said I’d go if someone came with me. I didn’t think you of all people would have put me in there.”

“She’s hard to say no to!”

“I know that!”

“Anyway, I’ve been thinking.”

“Go on.”

“Let’s make bets on how long it takes them.”

“To figure out what we’re not together?”

“Exactly. We can’t make it easy for them because like we’re paying for couples therapy. They’d just stop the appointments.”

“That’s a bonus.”

“Pssh. Hiding all the sad under mystery doesn’t make it any less sad.”

“You think I’m mysterious?”

“Stop stalling, Caleb.”

“Okay, so we go in as couple, ja?”

Both of them blushed and looked away a moment, “Yeah!”

“And we improvise being a couple until they catch on, ja? And then I win the bet?”

“That’s confident of you, without a date, squishy.”

“Okay, I guess 4th appointment she will start by confronting us.”

“I wanted to say 3rd but I don’t want to barely win so, 8th!” She declared with confidence.

“And what does the winner – well, win?”

“If I win, you tell me all the rooms on the 8th floor.”

He hissed a breath in, but she’d set a wager. He didn’t back down from dares or bets but he was going to make her pay for it. “If I win, you have to tell your mum the truth of these last few months.”

“And scare her silly?”

“She married a man who became a crime syndicate ruler, she’ll live and then we don’t all have to fall over what to tell her.”

Jester was so silent for a moment that he wondered if she would beg him to make a different wager but then she hummed and nodded, “Okay! We have a deal, Cayleb. No sabotaging though. Therapist must find out on their own.”

“Agreed.”

He stuck his hand out and she shook it. 

It wasn’t long after they found the building and the office. Jester’s hand took Caleb’s and fought down a blush, wrapping her tail around her leg. He flashed his not smiling smile which helped her calm a little and walked in.

“Dr Aname?” Caleb called out.

“Ah, you must be with Widogasts.” A voice called out. A tall blond aasimar woman with a friendly smile appeared. She was so pretty they both wondered how she was allowed to couple counsel, she seemed like the stranger you’d crush on while travelling, never speak to and think of every so often fondly.

“Ja, I’m Caleb, this is my partner, Jester.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will clarify I named the Dr, Dr Aname as in Anime first as a joke but now I can't let it go. And Veth can't help but assume a doctor is a he, but that's neither here nor there. Updates as soon as you want them, Hope you enjoy!


	2. Getting To Know You

“Ja, I’m Caleb, this is my partner, Jester.”

-

“Married?”

“Planning on planning it.” Jester answered, showing the lack of ring, as if it was the first test. Dr Aname nodded looking at her notes.

“Brilliant, a date set?”

“A time, not a date. Summer after this coming one.” She rallied, Caleb gave her a real big smile, holding back laughter at how good she was at this.

“Very nice. So all I’ve been told there is it’s regarding the past not your present worries or future plans that you are wanting to start on, yes? So there is a couch and two seats.” She paused a moment, “Don’t worry, it is not a test, if you looked angry at one another we would put you both in the rage room to safely express your emotions. This is for the sake of personal preference.”

Jester was intimidated by how this woman seemed to read thoughts and had begun wrapping her tail round the bottom of Caleb’s leg. He tried to hold his pokerface from the blush making its way up then chose the couch. Jester’s free hand was on his arm, unintentionally showing her worry. Caleb’s brow furrowed, pressed his hand on her own before he kissed the top of her head to show he was trying to calm her. In shock she settled a little and seemed to be back in the world. She seemed to remember herself a little and took an almost defensive seating, to protect Caleb as she usually would but with her giddy to see you aura. To anyone who didn’t know her well enough she was just leaning forward with his hand in hers. He knew her 'keep behind me, I’ll keep you safe' stance well enough. He was so squishy that he saw it a lot.

“So, not meaning to be rude,” Dr Aname started, “but the first question is always the most loaded – why is it you have decided to visit a counsellor?”

It took the wind out them both instantly, into the fire from the first. At least it was an easy to answer question and mostly truthful.

“I have some issues from – other parts of my life – that are interfering with us. I would like to work upon to help further better our relationship.” Caleb answered, not quite able to look at the woman in front of him.

“We both do.” Jester added, it would no good for the therapist to think she blamed all the issues in their fake relationship on him, “To better deal with our issues and communicate how they affect us now.”

Dr Aname nodded and wrote something down. Jester felt like she was getting a good grade from one of her tutors. She smiled at Caleb.

“So tell me your story.”

There was a stall, “How we met or got together?”

“Start with met, we’ll move to got together.”

“Well, we are both adventurers. I was new to adventuring and had picked up a few friends who helped, he had his best friend. I introduced myself when he was trying to con me and called him stinky and then we got invited to the circus by another friend. Then the circus got possessed and we got arrested and after that we were all inseparable.”

“I was not trying to con you.”

“Were too. Might not have the best eyes but I’ve got great eyes.”

“No, I wasn’t Nott was. I told her not to.”

She huffed into the cosiness of the couch, “That’s possibly true.”

“So did you know she was The One then?” Dr Aname asked, curious and trying to clear the air.

“No, she told a homeless man off for being stinky.”

“Who?”

“Me.”

“You were staying in the inn too.”

“That didn’t make me any less homeless! You were homeless too, back then.”

“Was not!”

“Could you go home?”

“No.”

“Could you access your fathers?”

“No.”

“Could you access your mum’s money always?”

“No…Oh my flip, I was homeless!” She gasped before twisting the words, “Then that gives you no excuse.”

“You know I was on the run back then.” He retorted then remembered Dr Aname.

“Doctor-Patient confidentiality.” She clarified.

“It wasn’t from the law. It was from an agency. Technically, I was free to leave.”

“Like a cult?” She offered. Both Jester and Caleb’s eyes lit up together as she said it and somewhere she regretted asking.

“Yeah, Caleb, like a cult.”

“My actions were still my own there. Plus, you’d know a lot about that, High Priestess.”

“Still did less damage than the agency.”

Caleb’s smile not smile took over and she knew he hadn’t taken anything poorly, “That’s true.”

“So with two cults we have a lot to unpack.”

“There were more than two cults.” They answered around the same time.

Dr Aname blinked a few times in quick succession, “Well, let us convert to the next question, how you got together?”

Jester waited for Caleb to speak. She did hers, it was his turn.

“There was a switch sometime. Most prominent when we’d been travelling a while when a few of ours were taken. Jester included. The night before, I knew then. But, she liked someone else at the time.”

“Has that created an issue for you both?”

“Not like you’d think. I was fine. She was my friend before all else. But one day she was sad and I was showing her the things I could make for her party. She needed distraction. And I was saying so much stuff about how good she was when I blurted it out.” He sighed, “She told me she had felt the same way for a long time. She was scared I was too hooked up on the past to think like that. So we tried it out. We tried us out. All while still travelling, adventuring, hashing over so much stuff. She stayed through it all. There was a lot to stay through. But she did.”

Jester had been watching him. At first a little worried he would say too much about their past to start with and then in curiousity of his story. He knew when he placed it in his lie.

**_‘I’m the transmutation wizard, but you’re the one who changes people’._ **

In the dark of night, when things were sad and hard, she thought of those words. It helped her to sleep. He didn’t massacre the moment placing something there, it seemed logically right to place it there. He looked like he felt guilty, she spoke up, “Well, of course. I’m not going to leave Caleb. Never would.”

She hoped he knew that she meant she wouldn’t ever stop being his friend. His nod told him she knew, she gripped his hand harder.

“So what is it that’s bothering each of you in the relationship?” Dr Aname queried, her eyes taking everything in with only a flance.

Jester held back the words he won’t let me kill his old boss and mentor. That would get her a bad grade in therapy. Maybe that wasn’t the smartest way of thinking about therapy. Still, she was sure intent to harm could be allowed to report. She would give no clues until the Nein had Trent in grasp.

“He thinks he’s not worthy. Like we’re going to turn around and say he’s too broken and he won’t travel with us anymore. Like the whole group isn’t bound together as family. As if he doesn’t support endlessly. Like he's waiting until I hear something and say I can never see him again. Like I ever could.” Jester answered, pretending she couldn’t see Caleb’s jaw clenching. It needed saying. Dr's eyes went to Caleb.

“She hides when she’s hurt. In the group more than when it’s just us but it’s still a sort of guessing game. Like she has to carry all the hurt.”

Dr Aname wrote a lot of notes between both of their responses, her features expressionless, “Okay.”

As if to combat her lack of expression they looked at one another, their own emotions intense, both heartfelt yet unapologetic. They shared a smile. It was par for the course of where they were. There were no hard feelings.

They faced the therapist once more.

“And what would you like to get out of these sessions?”

“A good, safe place and way to approach our worries.”

“To learn and improve our own coping methods.”

“To remember and prove, we are not each others pasts. And to stop it interrupting us. ” They said. To be specific, Jester said it. Caleb said much the same thing with different words.

She made more notes. After that things relaxed as she got them to talk about their daily lives one after another. It became a much more casual, telling stories then back and forth’s on their days. Interjecting romance like piping cream into an éclair. Which, without clarifying why, she mentioned for them to go and get afterwards. He brushed his thumb against her hand and affirmed they would go. She hoped he wasn’t playing for therapy, she really did want éclairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing a fake dating/married fic and this at the same time, it's very odd to Google couples therapy beginning questions and also weddings themes and destinations in Surrey. It's really going to confuse my boyfriend, especially since we live no where near Surrey.
> 
> But here you are actual time with these fools in therapy with Dr Anime (Aname). But hope you're enjoying so far.


	3. Double Standard

The next topic was a time that exampled how they approached arguments and furthermore, how much time they spent together and apart. It was fairly easy to explain that though they worked and practically lived together they got their own space to do what they needed and wanted before they used an amalgamation of their different arguments spiced with romance to explain how they’ve resolved their arguments before. Then she asked how intimate they were on average and each blushed a deep red. They confirmed they didn’t get enough time alone-alone as they liked but it was just a part of the life style since they lived with their adventuring job but that averaged about once every couple of days. She nodded as if it was normal and they looked at each other unsure. It really occurred to Jester that Caleb lost some big years in the sanatorium more than it had before. She had known and understood but it wasn’t until she was asking herself how neither of them knew a regular intimate schedule that she took in their pasts in one breath. Both felt more at ease with the nod though.

There wasn’t much talk after that before they finished up for the appointment. 

She gave them homework of noting the activities they liked to do together and whether they did them and to note how comfortable they were being romantic in front of the group. It must have been one of the notes she made earlier, when they clarified that the group was an immovable thing – boundaries could be discussed but fully leaving the group to give themselves time was simply not doable. Dr Aname nodded and noted it with a grin.

Caleb hadn’t been pretending as they did in fact grab éclairs and shared them back to the group.

“How did therapy go?” Veth asked, pleased with herself, when she saw them the next morning.

Before Jester could answer, Caleb replied, his face beetroot, “She asked how intimate we were.”

“What?” Beau and Fjord exclaimed in shock.

“I think she meant frequency. We said every couple of days.”

“That or once a week. I thought we told her once a week.”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t expecting the question, I think I blacked out.” 

Yasha pursed her lips, “Do you think that’s about right?”

Both of them shrugged. There was a chorus of groans and head in hands.

“As far as I’ve heard, any frequency is right as long as it’s discussed and clear between you.” Cad said with such conviction that it seemed to miss ‘I’ve heard’.

“But Caleb’s wound like a steel spring. How he isn’t boning every day for the sake of his stress is beyond me.”

“Is that a compliment I detect?”

“Seriously, Caleb, how long has it been?” 

He checked his watch deadpan before his not-quite-smile took over and he answered, “Around 17 years.”

“Why?!”

“I have this weird issue called ‘I lost 11 years to insanity and was hung up on a girl in a cult who wanted our old tutor more than me’.”

“You called it a cult.” Jester whooped.

“He said ‘was hung up’.” Veth said, unconvinced.

“Honestly, Caleb, it’ll help you destress.”

“Beau, you get me a prostitute and I will tell that man where to find Tracy.”

“I’m just trying to help.”

“And I appreciate it. But if I want to get back in the game it will be in my own time.” He sighed, collapsing into his chair.

“Can’t exactly turn up to couples therapy with a different girl half way through, can he?” Jester joked and they nodded, “I like that no one volunteered a prostitute for me.”

“Do you want one?” Cad asked, simply.

“No, but double standard.”

“Okay but I don’t think there’s one of us here who could recommend one that’s good like we can for Caleb.” Fjord explained.

“I mean, you could.” She grumbled.

“I can find you one.” Caleb offered.

“I don’t want one.” Jester squeaked. She huffed, “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to pay for my first experience. Mama told me not to. Easy to get your feelings attached on the first and I know more than most it is just a job.”

Caleb hesitated his hand over hers then squeezed one of her hands before bringing it back just as quick, “Well any approach is okay. It’s all your choice.”

“I mean not all my choice.” She mumbled but a smile had formed back on her face. The joke melted the other emotions and Caleb’s smile even cracked into a grin before he began laughing. She made a point. Jester was glad to be making everyone happy again. 

After that, they talked about parts of the therapy they actually felt comfortable talking about. Later that day, closer to bedtime, Caleb stopped Jester before she headed up.

“Hey, earlier. Did you need a hug?”

“Yeah but, Caleb –” was all she managed to say before he swept her up in a hug. If she hesitated, she would lose it. She wrapped her arms around him and held tight, only to feel his grip tighten and his head drop. They hadn’t hugged fully like this in a long time if ever. It felt nice. It felt reassuring. Like everything was okay. “But, Caleb, you don’t like to hug.”

“Don't hate it. Not as much as I used to. But you do so much for me and you needed one. Your hugs are nice too, so that helps.” He held her just a little tighter before letting go.

“Thank you. I was thinking about activities we enjoy.”

“If you say boning so help me god you will only ever float down in the tower.”

“No, although I’m kinda mad I didn’t think about it.”

“Beau’s being saying you’ll offer as a joke all night.”

“She’s good!” Jester still wished she’d have been as fast and as confident enough as to offer the joke. Confidence was not usually a place she usually found lacking, did not like the feeling at all. “Anyway, I was wondering if we’d read some more too.”

“Well then, we’ll have to take turns. You can read Nichodranas fairytales and I will read anything you like, ja?”

“Ja!” 

“Come on in then.”

“Can we have a scary Zemnian fairytale this time?”

“I’m sure I’ll be able to find at least one.” He teased, then opened the drawer to his desk and picked out the first thing he saw. Feeling nervous he sat beside her and began to read die Dämmerungszone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to put this out a little earlier but before last edit time last night I decided on self care and a good nights sleep which is ridiculous but the chapter is here and I hope you like it :D


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